used to say,
‘Distance Makes
the Heart
Grow
Colder.’
To which I did
reply and ask
is it but yours,
or ist it mine,
the frigid devil
may have found
his way to you
her path to me
and put its icy fingers
inside our pericardium
which is a sac
that’s tough and round
it keeps the gremlins out
but when it’s torn
by callous claws
it cannot beg for mercy
much like the
crafty Trojan Horse
it slips inside
expands its hide
it cuts and drills
its aim is
sheer destruction.
And when our
precious chamber fills
with noble blood
so full of life
it sits and stares
and frowns and glares
applies its evil suction
and defecates its foul effluent
to poison and make turbulence
and in the end
when it exhausts
its weapons of destruction
it fires darts of deadly frost
to kill the heart’s own soul
I asked Aunt Hulda
are we lost
has fate dealt us a hand
that nothing ever
will erase
and will it never mend?
So my sweet Aunt
with hawkish nose
and still living with Fritz
she said that there
was one way out
that it involved her tits.
I’m sorry to be
so direct
but Hulda was quite blunt
apparently it was correct
to grab the one you liked
and hug her, even him, so hard
that one would call it tight
that was according to my Aunt
the secret of cold hearts
’cause if you hugged with iron arms
(you’ll know it when it smarts)
the Frigid Devil sounds alarms
he’s running out of room
and tries to find
his quick way out
yet meets his early doom
when two good souls
with two warm hearts
want to avoid the cold
they must embrace
from heart to heart
that’s what Aunt Hulda told
to eager ears
on MY own head
so I called Mr. Boeing
and said to him
and to the world
that I will now be going
to visit my most favourite Aunt
and thus reduce the distance
which will no doubt
restore all warmth
that miles have slyly stolen
the problem is
I must return
some day when duty calls
Well I could bring
her back with me
to add her to my dolls.
Reiterating what I said
when someone yelled ‘Too short’
it’s true that distance makes afraid
no other than our Lord
arranged it so
and now we know
it really is no wonder
that it’s the closeness
above all
that makes
the heart grow fonder.