Ambrose Bierce

Tuckerton Tamerlane Morey Mahosh

With a notable knack at rhetorical boshTo glorify somebody’s nameSomebody chosen by Tuckerton’s mastersTo succor the country from divers disastersPortentous to Mr. Mahosh.Percy O’Halloran Tarpy CabeeIs in the political swim.He cares not a button for men, not he:Great principles captivate himPrinciples cleverly cut out and fittedTo Percy’s capacity, duly submitted,And fought for by Mr. Cabee.Drusus…

I dreamed I stood upon a hill, and, lo!

Beneath, in Sabbath garments fitly clad,With pious mien, appropriately sad,While all the church bells made a solemn din —A fire-alarm to those who lived in sin.Then saw I gazing thoughtfully below,With tranquil face, upon that holy showA tall, spare figure in a robe of white,Whose eyes diffused a melancholy light.‘God keep you, stranger,’ I exclaimed….

Presentiment

WITH saintly grace and reverent treadShe walked among the graves with me;Her every footfall seemed to beA benediction on the dead.The guardian spirit of the placeShe seemed, and I some ghost forlorn,Surprised by the untimely mornShe made with her resplendent face.Moved by some waywardness of will,Three paces from the path apartShe stepped and stood—my prescient…

Abundant bores afflict this world, and some

They’re always coming, but they never goLike funeral pageants, as they drone and humTheir lurid nonsense like a muffled drum,Or bagpipe’s dread unnecessary flow.But one superb tormentor I can showPrince Fiddlefaddle, Duc de Feefawfum.He the johndonkey is who, when I penAmorous verses in an idle moodTo nobody, or of her, reads them throughAnd, smirking, says…