Ogden Nash

I’d buy a lot more cantaloupeIf I possessed a fluoroscope.

Not even a glimp.At times, translucenceIs rather a nuisance.

If the place you’re atIs your habitat,You’re a foreigner, say in Rome.But the scales of Justice balance true,And tit leads into tat,So the man who’s at homeWhen he stays in RomeIs abroad when he’s where you’re at.When we leave the limits of the land in whichOur birth certificates sat us,It does not meanJust a change…

He moves with flickering indecisionLike stripes across the television.He’s like the shadow of a cloud,Or Emily Dickinson read aloud.

Bears have cubs,Bats have bittens,Swans have cygnets,Seals have puppies,But guppies just have little guppies.

The day your descendentsOutnumber your friends.

The grackle’s voice is less than mellow,His heart is black, his eye is yellow,He bullies more attractive birdsWith hoodlum deeds and vulgar words,And should a human interfere,Attacks that human in the rear.I cannot help but deem the grackleAn ornithological debacle.

But it also leads to breach of promiseIf you go around lavishing it on red-hot momise.

You are as free as airWith time to spare,You’re a fiscal rocketWith change in your pocket,And then one mornA child is born.Your life has been runcible,Irresponsible,Like an arrow or javelinYou’ve been constantly travelin’.But mostly, I daresay,Without a chaise percée,To which by comparisonNothing’s embarison.But all children matures,Maybe even yours.You improve them mentallyAnd straighten them dentally,They grow…