Surveys the ass with reverence and fear,
Adoring his superior length of ear,
And says: ‘No living creature, lean or fat,
But wishes in his heart to be like That!’
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Nightly I put up this humble petition:
My sins of commission, my sins of omission,My sins of the Mission Dolores.’
‘T was a maiden lady (the newspapers say)
She slept like an angel, holy and white,Till ten o’ the clock in the shank o’ the night(When men and other wild animals prey)And then she cried in the viewless gloom:‘There’s a man in the room, a man in the room!’And this maiden lady (they make it appear)Leapt out of the window, five fathom sheer!Alas,…
Liars for witnesses; for lawyers brutes
Cowards for jurors; and for judge a clownWho ne’er took up the law, yet lays it down;Justice denied, authority abused,And the one honest person the accusedThy courts, my country, all these awful years,Move fools to laughter and the wise to tears.
The flabby wine-skin of his brain
And voids from its unstored abysmThe driblet of an aphorism.
Dawn heralded the coming sun
The minutes-and the sunrise gunWas manned for his saluting.The gunner at that firearm stood,The which he slowly loaded,When, bang!-I know not how it could,But sure the charge exploded!Yes, to that veteran’s surpriseThe gun went off sublimely,And both his busy arms likewiseWent off with it, untimely.Then said that gunner to his mate(He was from Ballyshannon):‘Bedad, the…
Once with Christ he entered Salem,
Once by Apuleius stagedHe the pious much enraged.And, again, his head, as beaver,Topped the neck of Nick the Weaver.Omar saw him (minus tetherFree and wanton as the weather:Knowing naught of bit or spur)Stamping over Bahram-Gur.Now, as Altgeld, see him joyAs Governor of Illinois!