Is it love I feel
or an illusion
of something that could never be real?
My heart is bouncing like a spring
as echoing in my ears are bells
chiming in concession with each other,
but how can this be
love should never come to me.
The confessions of my mind
delude my sense of reason
that it has built a myth within heart,
a falsity of fragments t
hat falsify the true facts of love and life.
Knowing love is a once in a lifetime thing
I know only sadness, it will never come to me.
My life is lost
in the boundaries
where romantics lie
in the solitude of tranquillity
where only the sounds of passion herald
near the wayward tombs of love
and only the sounds of sleeping
elude the silence of the night.
Encrusted in a velvet sky
are diamond shaped gleams of stars in the heavens
and a gold crusted ball of light – the moon,
which is said to be
a lovers light of peace and tranquillity,
but like all symbolic features of love
it has a falsity to fact,
for lovers need no moon to love
and much prefer when it is lacked.
Though all these falsities
are based on things of my past.
Could love be real?
Can it really last?
Or is my imagination taking over
my heart, my mind, my body, my soul, and my life
or is it love that has me in its grasp.
My mind tells me to deny the fact,
my heart wants me to believe it,
and so in my conquest of heart and mind
I believe my heart and fall for you.
Its all right for me,
but you – you are afraid
that I will hurt you.
In this confession,
my heart and my mind give a promise.
Never to break your heart
for I find you are the only one I love.
These words are from the heart,
not from the mind
and tell of the true deep feeling.
Although I fell I cannot tell you,
my feeling do not count
and once again like every time before
the priceless thing in life I must forfeit
as it seems my destiny is to live without love.
13 August 1968

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