Small as a peanut,

The little boy whispered, ‘I wet my pants.’‘I do that too,’ laughed the little old man.Said the little boy, ‘I often cry.’The old man nodded, ‘So do I.’‘But worst of all,’ said the boy, ‘it seemsGrown-ups don’t pay attention to me.’And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.‘I know what you mean,’ said…

Makes love to the leg of the dining room chair.She’s ready for animals, women or men.She’s doing Quaaludes again.

She loved me when I beat her,But I started actin’ sweeter,And that was no way to treat her at all.Yes, she is the one that I’m dreamin’ of,And you always hurt the one you love.And ever since my Masochistic Baby went and left me,I got nothin’ to hit but the wall, oh no…Nothin’ to beat…

Have you seen her at her door, listening for the cannon’s roarAnd a man who went to war from the hills of ShilohHave you heard her mournful cries in the hills of ShilohHave you seen her haunted eyes in the hills of ShilohHave you seen her running down searching through the sleepingtownIn her yellowed wedding…

Today I guess it wasn’t‘Cause while playing with my cousinIt fell off and rolled awayAnd now its gone.And I can’t look for it‘Cause my eyes are in it,And I can’t call to it‘Cause my mouth is on it(Couldn’t hear me anyway‘Cause my ears are on it),Can’t even think about it‘Cause my brain is in it.So…

When a knight comes to fightI just toast him on sight,Like a hot crispy cinnamon bun.When I see a fair damsel go by,I just sigh a fiery sigh,And she’d baked like a ‘tater-I think of her laterWith a romantic tear in my eye.I’m the Dragon of Grindly Grun,But my lunches aren’t very much fun,For I…