When I took it upon myself…
To decide you could not bear,
The truth.
I pretended not to know it!
And now you are left to suffer.
Clinging onto delusions.
Hoping…
That what has been diminished from your reality,
Will survive to revive a time that has passed!
A time that has gone.
With no guarantee given,
That it would last!
Not to linger for you…
To pick up when you wished.
And to be carried on!
And I observe you in despair.
Wishing to revisit yesterday!
Wishing to do those things,
You promised yourself you would!
If only you could!
With intentions that are good.
And I was there…
Letting you believe,
You had time!
And I knew in my mind,
You were not living in yesterday then!
And I pretended not to know it.
I thought you were teasing.
And unwilling to show it!
And today,
No matter what I say to you…
You aren’t prepared to accept tomorrow.
You are not living in the ‘now’!
And doing that,
Now…
Can only bring you joy!
But you wish to keep…
Those memories kept in bitterness,
To refresh as if they sit to treat!
And I pretended not to know that…
Because I thought you knew!
Because,
Well…
I thought you knew me too!
But I realize so vividly now…
Both of us have been wrong,
For too long!
The only shame I claim,
Is not being honest.
When I took it upon myself…
To decide you could not bear,
The truth.
I pretended not to know it!
And the happiness I have discovered…
You would not understand it.
Even though I have been here.
And wanting it to be shared!
What you have found to rely on that comforts…
I view that as a sign of despair.
I thought you knew…
I have not been there to share that with you!
And that’s the only shame I claim!
Not being honest.
When I took it upon myself…
To decide you could not bear,
The truth.
I pretended not to know it!
But you…
I know now,
Aren’t pretending at all.