Whereas the dog that takes his way
Across its course concludes to stay.
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What! Salomon! such words from you,
The Southern brother where he fellSlept all your base oration through.Alike to him-he cannot knowYour praise or blame: as little harmYour tongue can do him as your armA quarter-century ago.The brave respect the brave. The braveRespect the dead; but _you_-you drawThat ancient blade, the ass’s jaw,And shake it o’er a hero’s grave.Are you not he…
A rat who’d gorged a box of bane
Came from his hole to die (the labelRequired it if the rat were able)And found outside his habitatA limpid stream. Of bane and rat‘T was all unconscious; in the sunIt ran and prattled just for fun.Keen to allay his inward throes,The beast immersed his filthy noseAnd drank-then, bloated by the stream,And filled with superheated steam,Exploded…
Ben Truman, you’re a genius and can write,
You lack that certain spareness which is quiteDistinctive of the persons who make books.You show the workmanship of Stanford’s cooksAbout the region of the appetite,Where geniuses are singularly slight.Your friends the Chinamen are understood,Indeed, to speak of you as ‘belly good.’Still, you can write-spell, too, I understandThough how two such accomplishments can go,Like sentimental schoolgirls,…
You may say they won’t grow, and say they’ll decay-
Get up on your ear, blow your blaring bazooAnd hire a hall to proclaim it; and youMay stand on a stump with a lifted handAs a pine may stand or a redwood stand,And stick to your story and cheek it through.But I point with pride to the far divideWhere the Snake from its groves is…
Some one (’tis hardly new) has oddly said
And Joseph Emmett thinks the crimson shameOn woman’s cheek a trumpet-note of fame.The more the red storm rises round her noseThe more her eyes averted seek her toes,He fancies all the louder he can hearThe tube resounding in his spacious ear,And, all his varied talents to exert,Darkens his dullness to display his dirt.And when the…
The Senate woke; the Chairman’s snore
The startled members dreamed no more,For Steele, who long had held the floor,Had suddenly ceased talking.As, like Elijah, in his pride,He to his seat was passing,‘Go up thou baldhead!’ Reddy cried.Then six fierce bears ensued and triedTo sunder him for ‘sassing.’Two seized his legs, and one his head,The fourth his trunk, to munch on;The fifth…