I just washed a behind that I’m sure wasn’t mine
There are too many kids in this tub.
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I’m haulin’ twenty tons of freight into New York state
She lived over the hill I had an hour to kill I thought I’d get in out of the rainOh my she looked so fine had a bottle of wineI’d have myself a little bitty swigThen I heard wheels on the cinders and I ran to the windowsAnd somebody stole my rigOh oh oh somebody…
She was dancin’ when I seen her, in a Mexican cantina
She had a child’s smile, but she told me in a whileIt would take a lot of gold to get to know her.Acapulco Goldie, donde did you go.You said you’d always hold meBut you run away with me Acapulco Gold.I knew there’s no one cuter, then she said she was a puta.I said, ‘What does…
Inside everybody’s nose
So if youi stick your finger in,He may bite off your nail.Stick it farther up inside,And he may bite your ring off.Stick it all the way, and heMay bite the whole darn thing off!
I tried on the farmer’s hat,
A little too small – just a bitToo floppy.Couldn’t get used to it,Took it off.I tried on the dancer’s shoes,A little too loose.Not the kind you could usefor walkin’.Didn’t feel right in ’em,Kicked ’em off.I tried on the summer sun,Felt good.Nice and warm – knew it would.Tried the grass beneath bare feet,Felt neat.Finally, finally felt…
Well on a Monday I’ll be slingin’ hash Tuesday I’ll be collectin’ trash
Thursday I’ll be the guy who parks your carOn a Friday I might be teachin’ school a Saturday finds me hustlin’ poolI got a whole lotta talents in demand that’s why they call me Handy ManPow-pow-pow-hum all the neighborhood girls and boysPow-pow-pow-pow they come to me to mend their toysTa-ra-ra-ra their daddys call me to…
A hippo sandwich is easy to make.
One slice of bread,One slice of cake,Some mayonnaiseOne onion ring,One hippopotamusOne piece of string,A dash of pepper –That ought to do it.And now comes the problem…Biting into it!