Says she to me, says Polly Crump’
‘What makes ye look so sweet. me dearie?
As if ye’d gotten back yer youth . . . .’
Says I: ‘It’s just me new front tooth.’
Says Polly Crump: ‘A gummy grin
Don’t help to make one’s business active;
We gels wot gains our bread by sin
Have got to make ourselves attractive.
I hope yer dentist was no rook?’
Says I: ‘A quid is what he took.’
Says Polly Crump: ‘The shoes you wear
Are down at heel and need new soleing;
Why doncher buy a better pair?
The rain goes in and out the holeing.
They’re squelchin’ as ye walk yer beat. . . .’
Says I: ‘blokes don’t look at me feet.’
Says Polly Crump: ‘You cough all day;
It just don’t do in our profession;
A girl’s got to be pert and gay
To give a guy a good impression;
For if ye cough he’s shy of you. . . .’
Says I: ‘An’ wots a gel to do?’
Says Polly Crump: ‘I’m pink an’ fat,
But you are bones an’ pale as plaster;
At this dam’ rate you’re goin’ at
You’ll never live to be a laster.
You’ll have the daisy roots for door. . . .’
Says I: ‘It’s ‘ell to be a ‘ore.
‘But I don’t care now I can smile,
Smile, smile and not that gap-toothed grinning;
I’m wet and cold, but it’s worth while
To once again look fairly winning.
And send ten bob or so to Mother. . . .’
Said Polly Crump: ‘Gwad! Have another?’