to unknown heights, so he prepared a drum,
a barrel, sourced from vintners in Vermont,
inside he placed a cushion and some wool
outlined the thing with Bilroth super heavy gauze.
He would not really travel very far
and after a good slug of Beenleigh Rum
it seemed that there were voices that would taunt
and others shouting what a blastin’ fool.
They got up to the Falls at seven ten
unpacked, she looked quite pale around the cheeks
he told the boy to count and tell him when
he’d joined them then and there, the Niagara Freaks.
The barrel left the summit as it plunged into the sky
he tumbled in its bowels as he would,
the wife had silently waved her goodbye
the boy just stood and pondered if he really could.
They left together, him at eighty easy clicks
she, snuggled to his chest, lips to his hair,
out loud she said I’ve always been a connoisseur of dicks
and this one does me fine, if I would dare compare,
he went inside his drum down these forbidden falls,
I say it ain’t the thing that I would ever choose.
But really, it is true my fellow had huge balls
and he was always apt to pay his carnal dues
though nature interfered, she sent conflicting calls
and George would listen as his belly grew in size
it was too short and he went down Viagra Falls
the boy took over and perhaps deserved the prize.