Christmas Day a huge gorilla
broke the window to the den.
Woken by the grunting, groaning
down below the couple worried
wife said ‘Hans, we should be phoning’,
but he went downstairs (he hurried) .
In the chair sat the Gorilla
with a mug in his left hand,
told him ‘Howdy, name’s Attila
I come from Sengaziland.’
And they had a conversation,
talking monkeys drinking brew,
then agreed that in all nations
all Gorillas in a zoo
needed Heineken or Beck’s
as a daily extra fare,
beer facilitates good sex
and they ought to get their share.
Sure enough, when Dawn came calling
Hans went up to see Louise,
for a spot of Kaaskopp* balling,
partner went back to the trees.