still spinning around in my head,
I wanted to shake them free
and forgive myself for everything
in my life I had done wrong.
Forgiveness is easy towards others
for what they had done to me,
but forgiving me is hard
for the outrages I had done,
my signature on papers
condemning innocents to eternal peace.
Their memories live with me
to cause me constant torment
for those things I had done.
No one blames me
only I can’t forgive myself
and probably never will.