it lives at the magnetic pole
and stirs the faithful wife.
Some call it winter’s ageless itch
while others do know better,
the devil has seduced the bitch
and sent to you a letter.
‘Dear John, it is with great regret
that I must buy a stamp
I do what you would never let
me be, I am a tramp.
So take your bloody Christmas tree
and stick it in your rear
you won’t need to wait up for me
thanks for the flowers, dear.’
My friend came to the pine-swept door
and carried just one bag.
At Eastertime on foreign shore
he met a handsome fag.
The law was changed and they saved up
to pay the fee on time.
Now over runneth their sweet cup
it used to be a crime.
The question now arises yet
who made the better deal
was it the devil with his pet
or same-sex Royal seal.