It always seemed to be so far away before,
I used to get angry and say, ‘I wish I were dead!
But then they were only words, spoken to slash out and hurt the
person who angered me.
Now suddenly it’s a reality – there are no more words.
Death has come to get me, to take this long and tiring life from me.
Everything has taken on new light, this life of mine – it’s not so bad.
I’ve had some really great times, seen some beautiful sights,
laughed a million times more than ever I cried.
Yes, life isn’t so bad when I look back upon it.
But, lonely and crying softly, I look ahead and can see nothing,
feel nothing, but a dark empty sort of hopelessness lying heavily
upon this aging heart.
Life has gone too swiftly from me – if only I could steal it back.
Everything I’ve ever hoped or dreamed, everything I’ve ever
accomplished seems now was all in naught.
Exhausted from this mental anguish I fall back upon my pillow with
tears smarting in my eyes.
If only I had done more with my life, given more of myself, loved
my family more, are my thoughts as pain raced up and down my spine.
Racked with pain – mind and heart filled with sorrow, I yell – I
scream!
The nurse comes running and pricks me with a needle.
Medicine takes my last hold on life – it takes my pain away and
puts my mind in a daze.
Forms and people lose their shape and become distorted, I can hear
voices – people talking far, far away.
The pain is gone for a while, my senses dulled, my body limp with
sedatives and I fall asleep in another land, another time when I
was young.
Thinking life seems so long and tiring – when that little particle
of reality slips through the medication and says, until death comes
knocking, knocking, at your door.