So what? Would you be calm and placid
If you were full of formic acid?
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This is a song to celebrate banks,
you hear is clinks and clanks,Or maybe a sound like the wind in the trees on the hills,Which is the rustling of the thousand dollar bills.Most bankers dwell in marble halls,Which they get to dwell in because they encourage depositsand discourage withdrawals,And particularly because they all observe one rule which woebetides the banker who fails…
I give you now Professor Twist,
Trustees exclaimed, ‘He never bungles!’And sent him off to distant jungles.Camped on a tropic riverside,One day he missed his loving bride.She had, the guide informed him later,Been eaten by an alligator.Professor Twist could not but smile.‘You mean,’ he said, ‘a crocodile.’
Senescence begins
The day your descendentsOutnumber your friends.
Belinda lived in a little white house,
And a little yellow dog and a little red wagon,And a realio, trulio, little pet dragon.Now the name of the little black kitten was Ink,And the little gray mouse, she called her Blink,And the little yellow dog was sharp as Mustard,But the dragon was a coward, and she called him Custard.Custard the dragon had big…
There is one thing that ought to be taught in all the colleges,
I don’t mean the kind of apologies people make when they run over you or borrow five dollars or step on your feet,Because I think that is sort of sweet;No, I object to one kind of apology alone,Which is when people spend their time and yours apologizing for everything they own.You go to their house…