Their bedroom is full of conducted tours.
Their radio is louder than yours,
They celebrate week-ends all the week.
When they take a shower, your ceilings leak.
They try to get their parties to mix
By supplying their guests with Pogo sticks,
And when their fun at last abates,
They go to the bathroom on roller skates.
I would love the people upstairs wondrous
If instead of above us, they just lived under us.
Gentlemen come every dayTo count what my black hen doth lay.If perchance she lays too many,They fine my hen a pretty penny;If perchance she fails to lay,The gentlemen a bonus pay.Mumbledy pumbledy, my red cow,She’s cooperating now.At first she didn’t understandThat milk production must be planned;She didn’t understand at firstShe either had to plan or…
So Thomas EdisonNever drank his medicine;So Blackstone and HoyleRefused cod-liver oil;So Sir Thomas MaloryNever heard of a calory;So the Earl of LennoxMurdered Rizzio without the aid of vitamins or calisthenox;So Socrates and PlatoAte dessert without finishing their potato;So spinach was too spinachyFor Leonardo da Vinaci;Well, it’s all immaterial,So eat your nice cereal,And if you want…
The grackle’s voice is less than mellow,His heart is black, his eye is yellow,He bullies more attractive birdsWith hoodlum deeds and vulgar words,And should a human interfere,Attacks that human in the rear.I cannot help but deem the grackleAn ornithological debacle.
The only answer I can findIs, Reproduction of his kind.If I’m supposed to swallow that,Winnetka is my habitat.Isn’t it time to carve Hic JacetAbove that Reproduction racket?To make the matter more succint:Suppose my fellow man extinct.Why, who would not approve the planSave possibly my fellow man?Yet with a politician’s voiceHe names himself as Nature’s choice.The…
I don’t mean the kind of apologies people make when they run over you or borrow five dollars or step on your feet,Because I think that is sort of sweet;No, I object to one kind of apology alone,Which is when people spend their time and yours apologizing for everything they own.You go to their house…
